Recently I have been noticing two different types of "faith...." - one I have begun to call "exerted faith." This is faith WE exert - where "WE" try to FORCE a "happening." As I look back over my own life it seems that with the many trials and tribulations I have endured - I would have learned by now the futility of my own "exerted faith." Apparently - I'm a v-e-r-y slow learner - for such is not the case. I STILL find myself "exerting" my own meager strength, pushing an issue with my own force of will, to achieve a desired result.

It seems that as tests and trials come, we engage in exerting faith - almost FORCING ourselves to keep believing! A good analogy would be trying to row a boat against a strong current. Eventually, we just tire out and are incapable or rowing another stroke. At THAT point - the "current" takes US over - and eventually we will arrive wherever the current has led us. This is the other faith I have noticed - "resigned faith."

Resigned faith has no "ON BUTTON" - and batteries aren't included! You aren't suppose to be able to "ROW" against the current - so, why not just resign yourself to the care of the ONE who knows you better than you know yourself. HE has allowed this test or trial to overtake you, just as the current did, and just as the current will eventually bring you to a destination - so will HE. He is MORE THAN ABLE to take us to our destinations according to HIS purposes!

We read the Gospels and inwardly I suspect ALL of us, at one time or another, have thought what a bunch of "dweebs!" the Lord chose. Quarrelsome, belligerent, uncouth, questioning, faithless, - well, you get the idea.

Look at the story, for example - of their being out on the Sea of Galilee during a horrendous storm which Jesus was managing to sleep through. They cried out to Him, "MASTER! don't you care that we are PERISHING?" And Jesus had to get up and calm the storm for them. We read these passages and wonder at the lack of faith of His disciples. Yet, are we REALLY any different? Don't we DO the SAME THING? OF COURSE WE DO! Anytime a storm hits, be it financial, physical, emotional, etc., - we are apt to hit our knees and cry out, "LORD! Don't you CARE that I am perishing here?" And on the heels of that - we began to "exert our faith," to get the result WE desire - which might not be (and probably isn't!) the one that HE DESIRES.

These past several months, I have slowly begun to realize what a "lousy" faith I've had all along. I HAVE to take hope that God will impart to me a faith that will bring HIM Glory. THEN! I will know that it IS "supernatural," and not of myself. Having discovered my weak faith - and taken a good, hard look at it - I have begun to realize that again, my ONLY hope is in "HIS STRENGTH BEING PERFECTED IN MY WEAKNESS." We are only capable, it seems, of "weak points." "Strong points" in our character OR faith are only possible IN HIM and THROUGH HIM and exist in us BECAUSE of GOD and not because of anything we did to merit them. I often wonder how ANY of us could ever try to glory in "self," after the trials we have endured. Even "little" tests and trials show us how weak and imperfect we really are. Come on now - YOU KNOW the ones I mean! Like being fifteen minutes late for work already and ending up behind sweet Aunt Bea who considers driving faster than 15 a sin. NO opportunity to PASS of course. How's your blood pressure? Or, how about when your son or daughter invite every kid in the neighborhood to come over and try out the new pool you just spent half a day cleaning? Or - my own personal favorite - when you have told your parents that you and your family will be at their house for Thanksgiving ONLY to find out later that your wife has told HER parents that you and your family will be at THEIR house for Thanksgiving dinner.

When we examine "our weaknesses" we see who we REALLY ARE. "Strengths" (if there are any) are found only when GOD is working "in us," and can never be attributed to our "exerting faith" over any given situation or circumstance. But "flesh" is a sticky wicket! The moment we realize how God is changing us and glory in the change - instead of the CHANGER - we have robbed Him of HIS GLORY, and are brought immediately back to a place of needing "pruning" again.

It is amazing to me that God gives us rewards for what - in the end - is HIS HANDIWORK ANYWAY! What He has "wrought in us," He "rewards" us for. We have looked for the Sonrise and have yearned for the Eastern rays of morning to touch our souls. We long for redemption and cry out to be delivered. We hunger and thirst for God and for the freedom that is ONLY found in Him. We long for His cloud to come to bring us the "latter" rain. WE LONG TO SEE LIFE! HIS LIFE! Sometimes we are almost crushed by the "waiting and the trials." We cry out to God to feel His rain falling upon our face - for Him to come and restore and replenish us. We look for the mercy of God to come and comfort us - knowing that we are unworthy to receive it.

WITHOUT GOD, THERE IS NO LIFE. WITHOUT HIS MERCY, THERE IS NO HOPE Unless God reaches down to us - we will not find Him. Although we STRIVE to "know Him," we can not begin to understand Him. You are left with the incredible paradox of the "finite" trying to comprehend the "infinite." Our "best efforts" be it in faith or any other aspect of our Christian life and walk, are, as stated - "EFFORTS." Truly, we must "become as little children," for only a child can remain innocently trusting in those things he can not see. A child's "faith" is not bound by an adult's rules, no more than GOD is bound by our own "exerted faith."

Suffer the little children to come unto Me - for SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN. (Mark 10:14)
W. Mark Wattenford
ilbcnugod@hotmail.com