This is written to any of those that have felt this way before. Women and Men alike, come to these desperate places in their lives. We can be living for the Lord for a long time, only to find ourselves in a desperate need once again, for our Lord to be Savior. Not as salvation for eternal life, as that was settled with us a long time ago, but it is salvation from our flesh that so tugs against the Spirit of God. That war within, often causes our human nature to be exposed to us, as the culprit in hindering our walk with God. This reality may cause the emotions to cry out as in the word below. In desperation we cry out and in His Faithfulness He meets us there.

~God bless you all~

A DESPERATE CRY FROM A FAILING CHRISTIAN’S LIPS:

"Lord, I am a wreck! I never thought I would be in this place at this desperate hour. I thought, by now, I would have had a pulpit, or street ministry or at least, a home church. I have seen others that graduated from the same evangelical school as I, who are going onward seeming to do great things. But…here I am in a place where it looks as if I am dwelling in a tomb. I have no more strength. I have no more desire to go onward with the ‘things’ that use to excite my flesh. I have no desire for any ‘thing’ that man devises. I only have HOPE in YOU! If you do not call me forth, I will rot here in this dark place, that I believe is a tomb!!!

I am shamed by those that view me. They say, "She is doomed. She has stopped communing with the ones she use to commune with. She has started keeping company with sinners, and her only excuse, is that she says her heart goes out to them. She has become intolerable of those that wear mask and are trying to appear holy when they are not, as she realizes there is only One holy and it is Jesus. Why does she feel so guilty that she no longer seems to fit into the old molds she use to fit so well in? What has happened to her? Where is she headed?

Those that have seen her walk in the past, are whispering curses as they speak doom and gloom behind her back. Slowly, a tear falls. This one knows that there is lack in areas of her life. She see the faults more clearly than anyone viewing, except for Jesus. She is naked, undone, and near panic as she see her weaknesses. She even wonders if she is going crazy.

"Oh, what, now? It is too late to be so far from home", she says weeping and pondering on her life. "I must be doomed!"

She drifts into deep thoughts and thinks upon the knowledge she has gained from her past. She comes to the conclusion that many have given theories of what they believe to be the way a Christian is to obtain perfection. Some things taught, she has seen, have made the body arrogant, and some of man’s inspirations, she has observed, has caused others to step out before their calls had come to maturity. Some words, by men, caused brothers and sisters to seek only riches, as they heard that they were kin to the King and that their Father owned all things. Greed was their motivation.

This saddened woman, has tried all, heard all, and done all these things, and still has come up short of finding GOD like she wants to find God. Strength and effort has been hidden, and now, deep within, a moan, a groan, a cry, comes forth. She NEEDS JESUS but seems so very far from what all have said is the way to Him.

Then...The WORD:

"The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All Flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field:

The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD BLOWETH UPON IT: surely the PEOPLE IS GRASS.

The grass withereth, the flower fadeth; but the WORD OF OUR GOD shall stand for ever." Isaiah 40:6-7

Grass is surely what she is. Grass is green only for a short time, but when the HEAT comes, Oh, Lord, when the heat comes, She WITHERED! Here she is withered, and ashamed that she has become so ugly and has taken on the appearance of death. However, the GRASS has a Nature that demands that at the end of a SEASON it MUST wither! God has set the seasons with his WORD! And…this word STANDS FOREVER. The season of flourishing has come to an end and now, the bright green lawn of her heart has turned brown and ugly and unappealing to man or beast or even to her.

She mumbles, "What hope do I have? It is late, and I am undone. I will surely parish. It is the end of me as all of MY beauty that was BEHELD by man, has withered away."

All the while, IN HER HEART, there is a small ember yet burning that spells out faith that perhaps there IS a SAVIOR that WILL STILL come and bring life once again to this withered grass. This, after all, is ALL she has at this point. If only, just one drop of rain would fall upon her dry state, and if one glimmer of sunlight would extend it’s nourishment, and caress her. NOTHING else remains of her but faith, that HE, will rescue her, from her frightful state.

Her breath is shallow, and her ears are searching for a whisper from the master. Surely she is as a dumb sheep that needs a shepherd. She cannot receive even a drop of water unless the shepherd comes to show her the way to the brook.

again...The WORD:

"O Zion, that bringest good tidings, get thee up into the high mountains; O Jerusalem, that bringest good tidings lift up thy voice with strength; lift it up, be not afraid; say unto the cities of Judah, BEHOLD YOUR GOD!

Behold the LORD GOD will come WITH STRONG HAND, and HIS arm shall rule for HIM: behold, HIS reward is with HIM, and HIS work before HIM.

HE shall feed his flock like a shepherd: HE shall gather the lambs (like her, that is dumb and CAN’T find the way on her own) with HIS arms, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young. (or those that have yet to mature on their own) Isaiah 40:9-11

"Hast thou not known? Hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? (like you have become weary), There is no searching of his understanding.

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.

Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:

But they that wait upon the Lord shall RENEW THEIR STRENGTH; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

This is the WORD of the Lord for her, that has become weary, in trying to be perfected in her own strength. She must wait and keep watching and listening, and sitting at the door of her Spirit Man. She must keep listening for her beloved to come to her rescue.

Will He come? The WORD says, HE WILL COME. She will trust in it. She must, as her strength has been exhausted. Flesh has died. She thinks that IS a GOOD thing.

Love in JESUS.

May HE DWELL IN YOUR HEART in HIS PURITY and in HIS STRENGTH and in HIS LOVE FOREVER AND EVER!

Cyndee Pillow

iclight@rectec.net