The Preserved Seed Within

Over the past few days the Lord has been showing me what has happened to me over the past six months though a walnut. I run at lunch everyday and there are walnut trees everywhere thus at this time of year there are walnuts laying all over the ground. The walnut consists of an outer "fleshy" coat and the "nut" itself within that fleshy coat. When the walnut hangs on the tree they have this light green color. The green signifies LIFE. Once they fall off the tree in a matter of a week they begin to rot. The first thing I noticed about these walnuts is that they look like a disgusting pile of rotting decay. They are black and hardly look like there is anything of value to them.

Back in April the Lord was leading me to the cross. Any misconception about what "dying to self" is should be thrown out the window for I write in RETROSPECT and not PROPHETICALLY. I did have my misconception. Cute phrases like "more of Jesus and less of me". How I was "trying" to die to self". How little I understood the dying process. We can NEVER die to self in our own strength. For this we need DIVINE INTERVENTION. We are truly DEPENDANT on Him for everything even though at the time I had no understanding of what He was doing.

The first part of this process was for the Lord to cut off the spiritual gifts the Lord had given me. I could no longer give any prophetic words for I had no revelation. I could not write any teachings for the Lord gave me nothing to write. The Lord cut off my zeal for the word and I could barely struggle to read even a chapter of the bible when up until that time I would read daily for an hour. I had no "strength" to pray. This was a far cry from the expectation of the great fruit I had expected to see as I was "dying to self". The "love" and "humility" I expected to see as I was "cut off" from the tree were nowhere to be found (I write in retrospect). Quite the opposite would be more the description.

One thing I have learned is that as that walnut, once removed from the tree you are DEAD. You may look alive for a short period of time but in reality there is no life in you apart from abiding in the vine. This truth can only be imparted experientially. We must be lead by the Spirit the cross because we would never choose the cross on our own.

Rotting things really STINK and they really look DISGUSTING. These are the two main characteristics that IN THE NATURAL describe this bunch of walnuts laying all over the ground. Over this summer the Lord led me the the cross. Now that sounds SO SPIRITUAL but at the time it look NOTHING like my EXPECTATION of the cross. I became increasingly SELF CENTERED. I became increasingly SHORT TEMPERED. I would swear REGULARLY and REGULARLY take Jesus precious name in vain in a fit of anger. This does not sound ANYTHING like dying to self. In fact it sounds the OPPOSITE of dying to self. But as with that rotting bunch of walnuts that look disgusting, likewise the flesh is a heap of rotting disgusting filth. My life (and tongue) testified to that fact.

We, like Job, need to have truth imparted to us. This can only come BY EXPERIENCE. Then we will confess as Job did " I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. Wherefore I abhor [myself], and repent in dust and ashes". We have LITTLE knowledge of who we are or what we are APART from God.

I did not appear HOLY or RIGHTEOUS during this period of time. In fact, and as described above, I looked quite the opposite. The MOST VILE of sinners capable of cursing my Lord's name, often without remorse. When Jesus was lead to the cross He was LAID BARE for the whole world to see. He hung high on a hill and experienced the SHAME of the cross taking all our sins upon Himself. Let me say something here, when dying it does not appear HOLY or RIGHTEOUS but rather it is SHAMEFUL and you are laid BARE NAKED for the whole world to see. Your very core nature is EXPOSED. What lies beneath my thin outer shell of "self righteousness? The most vile stink of flesh imaginable, exposed as He lead me to that place of death.

Jesus was BEATEN by those who were to crucify Him. The enemy, whose job it is to manipulate your flesh, will put as much pressure as allowed by the Father on you to break you. You will be beaten and afflicted. A sack will be placed over your head (lack of vision) and you will not know were the next punch is coming from. All of this is to get you to STOP and QUIT. All you have to hang onto is the promise that He will never leave you nor forsake you. It is that BELIEF and TRUST in the Father and who He is that will give us the RESURRECTION POWER.

One last thing about the walnut. Once the FLESH has rotted away there is this SEED. It is PRESERVED inside this hard core. That seed is CHRIST IN YOU. It cannot be made manifest until the flesh rots away. For a time the walnut looks like NOTHING of value but once that season is over the true FRUIT is then exposed.

Many are going through this place of DEATH right now. There is little comfort in were you are. But thank God ALL things work out for good to those who love Him. As God allowed satan to afflict Job likewise the Lord is allowing the enemy to afflict OUR FLESH. But through this all, as with the walnut, the SEED IS PRESERVED. Job, once He experientially saw who he was apart from the Lord and His divine intervention was given a DOUBLE PORTION. The seed is preserved and once that seed germinates it grows and bears fruit. There is RESURRECTION LIFE awaiting those who are willing to go to the cross and be made conformable unto His death. So be encouraged, the Lord will preserve that SEED which has value within you, which is Christ in You. But unless the seed falls into the ground and dies it ABIDES ALONE. It can only bear fruit if it falls off of the tree and dies.

Bob Neumann's "The dredge" (attached) is an excellent vision that goes along with this.

THE DREDGE

July 2, 2000:

This is a strange vision that I still am looking at to learn all THE LORD is trying to reveal. I find myself on a large barge in the middle of a wide river. I am working on the barge with ten or twelve others. All are men, older men. All are dressed in heavy, well worn work clothes. The Barge is slowly running up river. At the stern of the Barge is a large double boom with a powerful winch system and heavy cables. I watch as the winch engages and a large Dredging Sled is pulled out of the water. Once clear of the water it is "muscled'' by a crew of the men I saw earlier over the open cargo space of the Barge. Over and over the Dredge is dropped and dragged behind the Barge and lifted up and dumped. It took no major "interpretation'' to figure out we were dredging out the RIVER'S CHANNEL.

Each time the Dredge was dropped we had time to rest and look out at the RIVER. It was a beautiful river. As we continued our slow passage up stream many sail boats and powerboats blew by us. Occasionally we passed boats that were anchored and people were fishing. Our passage was marked by nasty comments and gestures provocative. Most of the recreational boaters seemed to have similar negative thoughts about us. At first I was puzzled by the negativity. But after awhile the continuous strain of the labor diverted my thoughts about the behavior I was seeing.

As the Barge Dredged we followed the slow and gentle meanderings of THE RIVER. After a while it was my turn to take a break and I walked to the bow of the Barge. There I could see the turns of THE RIVER. I had sat only a short time when I heard a loud steam whistle behind and above me. I looked up and saw a Pilot House. In the window I saw an arm beckon me to come up. So I went up the ladder and saw a man at the wheel. He was focused on the RIVER ahead of him and I knew it was not his arm that had signaled me. Behind him was a chart table filled with navigational charts. Not being able to read a chart I again looked out at the RIVER. "GIVE ME TWO DEGREES TO PORT", came a familiar VOICE. I looked behind 'us' and saw THE MASTER sitting comfortably in a swivel chair bolted to the deck. With HIS instructions the ''helmsman'' moved the wheel and the Barge kept moving. I did not notice any change of direction but I did notice we were not directly in the middle of the RIVER. I know that ''the channel" like the RIVER itself meanders between the two banks. The thought came to mind....most people would say we were dredging the RIVER. In reality we were ''dredging the channel" within the RIVER. Sort of makes sense....but I am not sure what the difference of perception tells me.

We just kept going for awhile and then THE CAPTAIN got up and walked to the window facing the stern of the barge. I went over and stood by HIM. When I got to the window I could look down into the ''hold'' of the barge where the dredgings were dropped. I was surprised to see people moving through the silt and trash and scattered debris. And I wondered, what are they doing. The next thing I knew I was standing in the hold with the "scavengers". It was very weird. The stench alone was overpowering. What was dragged up by the DREDGE had been accumulating for some time from the channel. The stench of decomposition and simple plain rot was undeniable. I watched as many people were on their hands and knees digging through the muck and the mud, the garbage and the trash people had ''dumped into the river''. I watched as bits and pieces of "stuff" was dug up and even fought over. I was wondering exactly what was so valuable to these ''people''. I looked closer and what I saw was nearly as disgusting as the smell. Bits of ''cloth'', ''bones'', and old ''trash''....cans, bottles, odds and ends. Pitiful was not the word for it. As each time the Dredge dumped the accumulated silt and garbage of centuries the scavengers raced each other and fought for what I was already labeling as "their treasures".

The IMAGE of my heart being where my TREASURE was suddenly took immediate and intense clarity. Where was I ''storing'' up my TREASURES?.....or was I digging through the rot and filth....for what. With these ''thoughts running though my mind I was back at the BOOM and THE DREDGE as THE LORD'S WORK continued. Once again my attention went to the "pleasure boaters" who shook their fists and yelled curses and accusations as they went by. Now I could hear their complaints clearly. It seems we ''were in the way''....''occupied their river''....''was stirring up the silt"...."mucking up the water''.... and more. It seemed the water was muddy ahead of us...and behind us. It seemed we were not there to provide clarity. You dredge the channel for navigation....so you can travel without hitting something under the water or going aground. The obvious was that THE MASTER was in charge and was "piloting" the BARGE. HE HAD WORK GOING ON....THERE WAS A PURPOSE. It was then THE RIVER itself caught my attention. Granted as THE RIVER OF LIFE....OF LIVING WATERS this was not what I expected. Suddenly my mind was on a commercial about "pure waters from the mountains" and I thought of fast clear rushing waters....ice cold and pristine. I thought about the hundreds of rivers I had seen, crossed, fished where the width of the river was measured in steps to get across. Then I realized that all those rivers when they finally flowed together you had THE RIVER....broad and long....but only as deep as the channel we were now clearing. As I sat and pondered THE RIVER FLOWED and we kept moving up stream meandering with the waters. After awhile THE MASTER stood alongside me and I looked at HIM. Wearing work clothes and a black wool watchcap.

I suddenly realized it was more than nippy, it was cold. On THE RIVER....in the there and now it was ''either'' late fall or early winter. Did not make sense, but I ''knew'' it. So I just watched HIM as HE WATCHED THE RIVER. Eventually HE spoke and asked, "DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SEEING?" I replied that I did not. HIS REPLY WAS..."YOU WILL"......... and suddenly I was in the air...maybe in low orbit. But I could see THE RIVER as a wide line below me. I could not have distinguished the BARGE from all the other dots on THE RIVER even if I knew where to look. Eventually I came down and saw where streams and tributaries joined THE RIVER all along it's length. THE RIVER started and ran straight briefly. As it lengthened and widened it meandered more and more back and forth across the land. The more it meandered, the more land it touched, the more lives were influenced, touched. It was then my focus got centered on smaller areas running parallel to THE RIVER. As my field of vision narrowed I saw a great construction site. Huge numbers of men and machines were moving tons of earth, digging what looked like a canal. It was wide...deep...and dry as a bone. The funny thing is it ran parallel to THE RIVER for 20-30 miles. They must have been working for years I thought. Suddenly I was 50-100 miles farther up stream and there was another company digging. A few men were standing around as a couple bulldozers were working. It was nothing like the scale of the first group, but the results were the same. Over time I saw more and more ''ditches'' up and down both sides of THE RIVER. Some where just a man or two with shovels and wheelbarrows. Some were huge projects wasting huge amounts of money, manpower and time. FOR NOTHING....... They were not digging to THE RIVER....which would make sense...they all were trying to bypass THE RIVER. And that reality bothers me. A whole lot about it bothers me. Especially because it is TRUE....and I will know all it means in "DUE SEASON''.
 

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