This is long, and I apologize for that. If long articles bore you, please  delete this now. If you are an intercessor, or are one who has ever been  wounded in a congregation, or have felt troubled in your spirit lately and  have not really known why, perhaps this article may help you.

Feel free to judge this for yourself, and either accept or reject it. If you  do reject it, there is really no need to inform me that your spirit didn't  bear witness with it. Just simply hit the delete button.

Going Around In Circles

A few months ago, the Lord showed me myself as I was walking along a path.  This path seemed to go through forests. Along this path, I was meeting  people. Some of these people had faces, and others had no facial features  that I could discern. I'm not sure why, but I felt the "faceless" people were  those whom I have met on-line.

I was stopping and talking with many of these people. As I made to walk on,  each person would press into my hand what appeared to be a small gold nugget.  I would accept it, thank them, and walk on.

Soon, both my hands were filled with these small golden nuggets. I was  perplexed about what these nuggets symbolized, and looked more closely at  them. I was even more bewildered to see what appeared to be tiny seeds within  each golden nugget.

It wasn't until recently that I felt the Lord was telling me that each of  these people I had met on my path, was a type of mentor to me. Each of these  mentors had taught me a lesson (represented by the small golden nugget each  of them pressed into my hand). Within each lesson each person had taught me,  were small seeds. I feel these small seeds  symbolize the words these people spoke to me.

As I went to leave one particular person who I had become very fond of and  attached to, I looked further down the path where the Lord was leading me,  and I was horrified and drew back in dismay from where the Lord was asking me  to go. He was taking me right back to where I had begun my journey. He had  taken me full circle, and it was something I resisted in the flesh.

As many of us have, I have experienced situations as a result of sometimes  perhaps hearing from the Lord. There has been times of persecution, times of  great loneliness and misunderstandings, etc. Some of these times, I am sure I  brought upon myself. Yet, as these times became more intense, I began to look  without the walls of my particular congregation.

At the beginning of this year (2000), I became the possessor of a computer,  and literally stumbled across a web site for prophecy. I read it, found links  at the bottom of the page, followed those links, etc., and found an on-line  "school" which taught about the gifts of the Spirit. I joined this school,  and began to share with the other "students" things the Lord seemed to share  with me. In my naivety, I was under the impression this school consisted of  perhaps 50 people or so. I would share things of the Lord with them, they  would share things of the Lord with me. My soul drank it in. I was so starved  and hungry to be around people like myself, and discuss openly and freely the  things the Lord perhaps revealed to me.

Little by little, certain things I shared with others at this school were  shared with their friends, and reshared, etc. People began to contact me  about sharing these visions, words, dreams, and / or messages with others. I  had no idea that some of these people had prophetic web sites. Until the  beginning of this year, I had never heard of such a thing. I always replied, to go ahead and share with others whatever they felt led of  the Lord to share. I felt whatever the Lord may have shared with me, was not  "mine." Since I was still in the on-line school, I thought that whatever I  shared was being judged by the "teachers," and that whoever maybe read  something I shared with them, would also judge it in their own spirits  (whether their spirit confirmed or rejected whatever they were reading).

This year, as I have had the honor and privilege of meeting so very many  wonderful people on-line, the wounds and the pain in my heart and in my mind,  appeared to lessen to a certain degree. I was among people who made me feel  welcomed and accepted, and who seemed to hear from the Lord the same as I did.

Then, when I had this particular vision where the Lord showed me the "end" of  the path I had been journeying upon was to the same destination I had begun  my journey from (the church I presently attend), all the old wounds came  flooding back upon me once again. It was then that I realized, I had never  really been healed in the first place.

A while after this vision, the Lord showed me myself in a jungle battle. Bullets, etc., were whizzing around my head. When I first saw myself in this  war, I had no protection on. As the vision went on, I began to clothe myself  with the protection as outlined in Eph. 6. There were times in this vision  that I had hidden myself in fox holes and was just hunkered down, frightened  and trembling, while the bullets whizzed over and around me. Then, the Lord  would tell me to get back up and get back out into the battle.

Towards the end of this vision, I saw myself stumbling out of this jungle  battle. I had something cupped in my hands. I was bloody, wounded, my  clothing was ripped and torn. I stumbled up to the Lord and carefully handed  over to Him what was in my hands. It was then, that I saw it was my heart.

My heart was wounded and bleeding. In some places, there were scabs over the  wounds on my heart.

Gently, the Lord took my heart from my hands.  Then, He gently began to pry  and pick away the scabs from my heart. This caused fresh bleeding (of  course), and new pain. I was shocked as I watched the Lord doing this to my  heart.  I was asking Him what He was doing to my heart, but I never once  tried to removed my heart from His hands. I gave my heart to the Lord long  ago, and it is His, and will always be His.

Finally, when the Lord had removed all the scabs from my heart, He reached up  to His head. It was then that I saw the crown of thorns that was still upon  His brow.  He removed one of the thorns from this crown of thorns, and with  it, He very gently, but very firmly, pushed it straight into and through my  heart.

When He did this, it was as if I actually felt it. I felt like I had been  pierced. The Lord left the thorn in my heart, and my heart continued to bleed.

I have pondered much on the vision of the path I was journeying upon, and  also the vision of my heart being pierced by the Lord.

This morning, the Lord showed me a circle. I was walking around this circle.  I had been on this circle without even knowing I was on a circle. The Lord showed me that the beginning of my journey from my congregation, was  also the ending of my journey. He had taken me full circle.

"What does this mean?" I asked the Lord.

The Lord then showed me many people on their own circle. Some of these  circles had deep groves in them, as if the person had been going around in  circles for quite some time. Others were like me ~~ they were nearing the end  of traveling upon their circle. Like I had just learned myself, they were  also becoming aware of the fact that the ending of their journey was taking  them right back to the beginning of their journey.

I asked the Lord to open up my understanding of this vision, and of the ones  He had shown to me of the path through the forest and of the jungle battle  ending in my heart being pierced.

"As you have been," the Lord spoke to me, "many of My children have been hurt  and wounded within their own congregations. As you did, they began to look  without the walls of their congregations to find comfort and encouragement  elsewhere. I allowed this. It wasn't always My perfect will for each person,  but I allowed it for many of My children.

"As My wounded children walked along, I brought others into their life to  teach, strengthen, and encourage and comfort them. Some stayed still on this  path, others walked on when they felt My Spirit telling them to do so.

"The more My children walked on this path, the wounds on their heart seemed  to fade. Some were truly healed of the wounds inflicted upon them by their  own brothers and sisters. Others were not fully healed, yet experienced a  degree of healing.  Still others, forced the memory of the wounds far from  them, trying to ignore or deny the wounds. They proclaimed themselves healed,  when actually they were simply in denial.

"Every time there was a spiritual battle, though, many of these wounded ones  had no protection. When I led many from the scene of the battle, and they  brought Me their heart as you did, it was a heart that was still wounded, yet  calloused and hardened in many places.

"In order to still be able to touch and use these wounded ones, I had to turn  their hardened, calloused heart back into a heart that was tender and  touchable once again. Some resisted this, and became further hardened. They  felt they were protecting themselves from further hurt and pain. They were  also closing themselves off from My touch and My Spirit.

"Those who allowed Me to removed the scabs and calluses from their hearts,  were once again presented with the memories of past wounds. They had a heart that was not only wounded, but was also offended. After  removing the scabs and calluses from their heart, to remove the offendedness  they carried within them, I pierced them. This piercing was and is to remove  the spirit of anger and offendedness that so many of My wounded children  struggle with.

"Those who have now had their heart touched and pierced by My hand, are  facing a new challenge from Me. I am asking many of those who have been  wounded in their congregations, to return or to stay where they are at.

"In the days which are coming, My judgment is about to fall. Before I judge,  I convict, and I forgive and restore where there is repentance. I am holding  off judgment for mercy to first be allowed to come.

"I desire to use those who have been hurt, and have then been healed by My  hand, to stand in the gap for the same people who inflicted wounds upon them.   Many of the ones I am asking to return to where they were wounded, or to  remain where they continue to be wounded, will not have freedom to speak of what I have spoken to their spirits. They will not be a public voice speaking forth My words to the congregation.   Those in their midst will largely be unaware of their purpose for being  there. They will be the silent intercessors.

"I am asking a hard thing of many of these wounded ones. They will be  misunderstood, ignored, passed over, over looked, mocked and ridiculed. They  will know suffering and grief, and experience terrible times of loneliness  and sorrow. They will feel there is no comforter for them.

"Yet I will be their comforter. I will be with them in their secret times of  prayer with Me. I ask a hard thing of them. Yet, the rewards are truly great  ~~ SOULS.

"Those who resist, and back away from what I am speaking to them, will once  again continue on the path of their circle. And, once again, there will come  a time in their journey, when they will once again come full circle. Those  who continue to go around and around on this circle, are those who had the  deep groves you saw in their circles.

"I will not force this on any who do not knowingly accept what I ask them to  do. All may either go full circle, or continue to go around in circles. Each  one must decide for themselves."

As one who has been wounded, and has now come full circle myself, I earnestly  covet and desire the prayers of those intercessors who know in their spirits  exactly what the Spirit is saying to us. This is hard for me myself, as it  will be hard for those who accept this difficult call. Perhaps those of us  who answer this call to go full circle instead of continuing to go around in  circles, may become a source of encouragement for one another through prayer.

Please pray for me.

In Him,
Hollie L. Moody
 

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